Why Is the R Sound So Hard? And When Should My Kid Get Help?

Over the years at my private practice, Willow Speech & Myo (formerly ChitChat Therapies), I’ve specialized in helping children with the R sound.

Although, technically, I should say "R sounds"—because in American English, there are dozens of different variations of R!

This is just 1 of the many reasons R is often considered one of the hardest sounds for children to master.

Why is R so complicated?

1). Think about all the different ways we use R.

There’s the R at the beginning of a word, like rabbit. There are R sounds in the middle and at the end of words, as in bathroom and pear. R can come after other consonants, as in brown, prize, tree, or street. And it can follow different vowels, creating sounds such as the R in car, ear, air, and door.

Our mouths and tongues have to adjust depending on the type of R we’re saying. That means a child may be able to say R beautifully in one word and still struggle with it in another.

2). The level of complexity matters, too.

For someone who’s learning to say R, it’s going to be much easier to say it in a shorter word at that single word level, like repeating “run” after their speech therapist, versus saying it in spontaneous, regular conversation. That’s why so many kids in speech therapy will say “run” with 100% accuracy after their therapist and then immediately say it wrong in off-the-cuff comments like, “Mom, I can’t wun in my classroom!” This is normal, at least in the earlier stages of therapy.

Side note: I tell parents ALL the time that it’s unrealistic for a child who’s just learned how to say “run” at that basic word level to then be expected to say it correctly in sentences and conversation. Speech development doesn’t happen that way. It takes time and a lot of practice to be able to eventually say words correctly without thinking about it in conversation!

3). Producing a clear R requires very sophisticated movements and coordination.

What does the tongue have to do?

For a strong, clear R, the tongue generally needs to be up and back in the mouth while having tension.

If the tongue stays too low, too far forward, or too relaxed, getting a clear R can be difficult.

But tongue position is only part of the picture.

What does the jaw have to do?

The jaw also needs to provide a stable foundation while the tongue moves independently. In speech therapy and myofunctional therapy, we call this jaw-tongue dissociation. It simply means being able to move the tongue without moving the jaw along with it.

This was something I learned early in my private practice that completely changed how I approached R in therapy. (In short, I discovered myofunctional therapy. This approach completely changed how I look at every single person I work with. But that's another story for another time).

What do the lips have to do?

The lips matter for R, too.

Many kids and teens round their lips when trying to say R, and the result can sound like a W, especially at the beginning of words ("wabbit" for "rabbit"). That's why I often teach children to practice R with a smile at first. It helps keep the lips out of the way while they learn what their tongue needs to do.

Ultimately, we want the tongue, lips, and jaw to be able to do their own jobs instead of everything moving together.

When should I get help for my kid who can’t say R?

If your child is 5 years old or older and doesn't have all of their R sounds yet—for example, saying “weed” for "read" or “doh” for "door"—I recommend having their speech evaluated by a speech-language pathologist (SLP). This could be an SLP at your child's school, at a hospital, or at a private practice.

If your child is evaluated at their public school, please know that the SLP might tell you that your child's R errors aren't significant enough to qualify for speech therapy. They might say that their R distortions aren't "academically relevant".

But this doesn't mean that your child doesn't need help! Again, we expect kids ages 5 and older to have all of their R sounds. In my experience, the earlier that a child gets help, the better their outcomes will be.

Also, speech can affect much more than whether a child is understood. For younger children especially, the way they pronounce words can influence how they approach early reading and spelling. Speech differences can also become increasingly frustrating or noticeable to children as they get older.

Is it too late to fix my child’s R?

Parents often ask me if it’s “too late” for their 10- or even 17-year-old to learn how to say their R sounds correctly.

As a speech therapist, I can’t promise that I’ll be able to “fix” a child’s R sounds. However, the children, teens, and even adults I’ve treated for R have made significant, life-changing progress! This includes teens and adults who’ve had several speech therapists but unfortunately didn’t make progress with R.

In my experience, earlier intervention often makes the process easier and faster. But again, older children and teenagers can absolutely make meaningful progress, too.

It’s also important to know that persistent speech difficulties—such as a person who’s been in speech therapy for R for more than a couple of years—can be a clue that we need to look beyond the sound itself.

For example, I've worked with many children and teens whose oral structures made it physically difficult for their tongues to make R sounds. If your child is 5 or older, can’t yet say all of their Rs, and demonstrates any of the following signs/ symptoms, I highly recommend that you look for a speech therapist who’s also a myofunctional therapist:

Mouth breathing during day and/or night

Crowded teeth

High, narrow palate (might be V-shaped rather than U-shaped)

Sleeping difficulties, including tossing and turning, waking up during the night, bedwetting, sleep walking, sleep talking, nightmares, night terrors

Low tongue resting position

Picky eating

Biting nails, sucking fingers/ thumbs, placing non-food items into their mouths

Concerns about a tongue tie

A speech-language pathologist who also provides myofunctional therapy believes in looking at the whole individual and how their mouth and facial structures impact speech, breathing, eating, and sleeping. By identifying and addressing the root causes that could be impacting R sounds, your child could make more progress than you ever thought possible. This might sound crazy, but I see this every. single. day. at my practice.

How can I help my child with R?

If your child has been working on R for what feels like forever, or you've been told to simply “wait and see,” don’t give up! Here’s what to do instead:

1). Focus on finding a speech-language pathologist who has experience assessing and treating the specific sounds your child is struggling with.

Not every SLP treats R (and many don’t like treating R because it can get very challenging and frustrating quickly, even for a professional)!

When you contact an SLP, ask them questions about their approach to R and their success rate. Check out their website testimonials, search for them in local parent groups on social media, and read their Google reviews.

Again, for R sounds and lisps, it’s often ideal to speak with an experienced speech therapist who delivers myofunctional therapy in conjunction with traditional speech therapy. A therapist like this will look at tongue movement, jaw stability, lip movement, oral structure, and the other pieces that may be contributing to the R errors.

2). Keep an open mind when it comes to the therapist’s location.

You might want to drive 5 minutes to the SLP who’s in your neighborhood but if they don’t specialize in R, you could be wasting your money and your (and your child’s) time. Instead, I’d encourage you to partner with the speech therapist who’s a longer drive but has the lengthy track record of R success.

Even if this ideal therapist is on the other side of your state—or maybe in another state (but has licensure in your state)—they may have an impressive track record of treating R sounds via telehealth, or online speech therapy. It might sound crazy, but as a mom and a therapist, I’d rather work with an incredible therapist via telehealth v.s. working with a mediocre therapist who’s just down the street. Also, research shows that speech therapy via telehealth is just as effective as in-person speech therapy. While not an appropriate fit for every situation, telehealth has worked very well for the vast majority of kids, teens, and adults who’ve received R therapy at Willow Speech & Myo. So if you find a speech therapist who specializes in R and seems like they’d be amazing for your family—but they’re far away—still reach out! Ask them if they have positive outcomes with telehealth, if they’d be willing to provide telehealth for your child, and if they have the appropriate state licensure to work with you. They might even consider applying for state licensure in your state in order to work with your family! (I know I would. I’m an R nerd).

How can I help my child with R at home?

1). If your kid has never been able to say R sounds, stop correcting your child.

I know that you mean well when you correct your kid’s R sounds (“No, you need to say the R like this… ‘rrrrrrr-rabbit,’ not ‘wwwwww-wabbit’”). But as I said above, R is so complicated and it’s hard for so many therapists to understand and correct. Without expert support or guidance, you and your child will likely just become more and more frustrated…and in the same spot you’re in now. (But worse as your child is super annoyed and irritated).

2). Instead, provide the right support for R at home.

There are sooooo many tips and techniques for helping kids with their R sounds, even among skilled therapists. Obviously, it can be intimidating and beyond confusing for parents to know how to help their kids with R.

But if you’re the type of parent who wants results, loves following clear steps, and will commit to working 1:1 with your child for only 2 minutes/day, I invite you to check out The Clear R Program. (And yes, I might be crazy for making a parent training program for THE hardest sounds in American English, but that’s how I roll. For better or worse.). I created this step-by-step proven R roadmap—based on my tens of thousands of hours spent in R therapy—so that parents like you can unlock your child’s R sounds at home.

The Clear R Program will tell you EXACTLY how to approach R with your child. You don’t need to make a game plan or to figure this out on your own. I’ve already done this for you.

Contrary to what you may think, your child doesn't need hours of practice every day.

They just need the right practice and right support through The Clear R Program… as well as someone who believes that they can say their Rs better.

And I truly hope that that person is you.